Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
