3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
