hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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