So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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