i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
