wanna go halves on a baby?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
operation harelip BJ is a go
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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