we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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