how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
