I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I want a musical about memes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
