FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
