I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
