Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
