he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
