U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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