im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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