So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
worst night to have a conscience
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
