Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
