I need help removing her.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
