I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
