They should really pass out barf bags in church
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
