Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize