you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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