Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
