He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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