I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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