I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
