ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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