evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
