shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
