I skipped work to stalk him.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
