I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
