I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
