Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
