put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize