She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
