awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
