just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
