He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
