Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
