I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
