Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
