is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
