I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize