I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
