He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
