Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
