AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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