is your mom at the bar?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
