If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
