yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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