My room smells like vodka and shame
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize