Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
