You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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