I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm at about main and main street
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
