how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
