she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
