mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
